Fiji's Family Network
Unfortunate is the man or woman who is all alone in life. My heart goes out to you.
upto you if you wanna read .....
Though opposites attract, they usually make lousy marriages. A man who likes a clean house will continually fight with a wife who is a slob (and vise versa). When dating, people often feel more comfortable with people who AREN'T like them. Unfortunately, this often leads to troublesome marriages. Then again, love is blind...you can't decide when and where to fall in love. Life must take it's course. If you are married to someone who is very different from you, then make the best of it!!!!
So many married people have the attitude that they'll only do their part if the spouse does theirs as well, that kind of attitude just won't work in the real world...not if you want to stay married....A marriage is supposed to based upon UNCONDITIONAL LOVE where each person gives 100% regardless of how much effort the spouse puts in. Is that fair? Of course not, but true love isn't based upon fairness !!!
Was it fair that Jesus Christ should paid a debt he did not owe because we owed a debt we could not pay? No, but He did it anyway because He loves us (Romans 5:8). Love oftentimes is not fair.
FYI ..I aint Married still modrii thou but I know how it goes because my own mama is gonna file for divorce and I wouldnt want anyone doing the worst mistake she/he is about to do ! SO THINK ! ~adios~
no marriage is going to be perfect - it would be a boring one indeed - when I say 100%/100% - i mean both partners to give their 100% in ensuring that their marriage survives
There will always be ups and downs, there will always be arguments - but when faced with these dilemmas - both couples should bounce back in giving their 100% all in trying to ensure that they get back to a square footing. I have been in a marriage where there was not a balance......I will speak for myself Divani because I have experienced one such marriage and I stayed there for 10yrs....trying to save something that was just not working because my partner was never going to change - the emotional and physical abuse was just too much to bear - and the sight of a little child cringing whenever he came home drunk was too much!!!!!!! The child is now a 21 yr old....a happier child....
I am now in a second marriage - 7yrs old....but getting sweeter every day...we agree to disagree...we talk, we discuss, we thrash out our problems....there is mutual respect from both of us and we both agree that nothing and no one would ever spoil this wonderful relationship we have....our twins are almost 5 now....so there is hope because we both give it our 100%.....
So i say 100% effort from both partner's should work!
^I get you now :)
Hope for the Best...Prepare for the worst!
isa my Tau SKM - Set tu o au!!!!!!! ni sa vosoti oti tu na Turaga dredre.... vei keda kece na veiwasei tiko - ena vinaka beka ke rawa ni da veiwasei taka na i ulutaga ka me kakua kina na veiba se veileti....responsible debating is good because it actually allows us to voice our opinions - and just because it may not tie in with our personal beliefs it does not really need to lead to name calling or anything else - e vaka me vakadradraluka taka na noda veiwasei.....lets try and maintain respect for each other even if we may not agree with what one says....
50/50 and 100/100 is the same exact thing !!. It's still half and half. the more meaningful point would be 50/50 or 75/25 or so .......
This is why it is important to spend time dating and courting. Know the person well before you get married. Many today marry out of looks, money, status, pressure etc. Marry the one who truly cares for you and loves you unconditionally.
You say 100/100. Well that's still half and half because you are looking at 200%. Even if one spouse slacks off, the other spouse should continue to encourage and push on. But if it does not improve, the hardworking spouse is most likely going to start wandering off, mentally first, and then physically. And it's game over. It's human nature. And by the way, in the bible, divorce is only allowed in the case of adultery !.
Funny how you think they mean the exact same thing. It's a matter of interpretation I suppose which is why they say that communication is key in marriages!
I had interpreted Divani's 50/50 and 100/100 as: spouses who only gave half their best efforts in their marriage (ie. 50/50 ) and on the other end, those who gave their very best efforts (100/100) - notwithstanding the fact that they may fall short of the mark at times, it's the intention to always do their best for each other that counts.
Just saw this article about the LA Lakers star and his wife reconciling and calling off their divorce. Sweet but is this conditional love or unconditional love? Or as Tina Turner sings it: "What's love got to do with it?"
Vanessa Bryant has called off her divorce from Kobe a little over a year after initiating the process.
Vanessa initiated the divorce in Dec. 2011, but she announced on her new Instagram account Friday that the two have reconciled and that they are no longer divorcing.
“We are pleased to announce that we have reconciled,” she wrote on Instagram on behalf of her and Kobe. “Our divorce action will be dismissed. We are looking forward to our future together.”
Kobe was working hard to try to preserve the marriage after Vanessa initiated the divorce. Not only did he sign the couple’s three mansions over to her (Vanessa recently sold one), but he also continued trying to be a good family man.
The two were spotted kissing on Valentine’s Day, and they attended a Los Angeles Kings playoff game together with their children a few months later. It was reported in June that they were working on an official reconciliation. Several months later, that has come through.
TMZ speculates that Kobe may have signed a post-nuptial agreement giving Vanessa more financial power in the relationship.
Kobe and Vanessa have been married since April 2001. Kobe was 21 when he met Vanessa, then 17, as she was filming a music video as a backup dancer in Nov. 1999. They became engaged six months later and have now been married for nearly 12 years.
Kobe Bryant, who married wife, Vanessa, in 2001, said Friday that the couple "is moving on with our lives together as a family."
I would say 50/50 is well balance. Na vuna qo....... Ni rau vakamau na tagane kei na yalewa e rau sa na qai duabau sa kena i balebale vei au ni rau sa na veilomani, veikawaitaki,veivakadeitaki,veimaroroi,veivosovosoti ka sa na qai basika na dina kina bula ni vuvale. Ni rau biu vata na 50% vei turaga keina 50% vei marama sa na qai taucoko kina na bula ni vakawati me 100% kina.
Na ka ga au nanuma ni da tamata ga (tabuyani) ena dui tu ga na noda dui malumalumu ka sa na dredre mena taucoko se 100% na veika eda cakava. SA RAWA GA ENA VEILOMANI KEINA CAKACAKA VATA.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE TEACH ABOUT MARRIAGE?
BIBLE READING: Genesis 2:1-25
KEY BIBLE VERSE: This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. (Genesis 2:24)
MARRIAGE IS A COMMITTED PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
God’s creative work was not complete until he made woman. He could have made her from the dust of the ground, as he made man. God chose, however, to make her from the man’s flesh and bone. In so doing, he illustrated for us that in marriage, a man and a woman symbolically become one flesh. This is a mystical union of the couple’s hearts and lives. Throughout the Bible, God treats this special partnership seriously. If you are married or planning to be married, are you willing to keep the commitment that makes the two of you one? The goal in marriage should be more than friendship; it should be oneness.
MARRIAGE IS A COOPERATIVE EFFORT BETWEEN EQUAL PARTNERS.
God forms and equips men and women for various tasks, but all these tasks lead to the same goal-honouring God. Man gives life to woman; woman gives life to the world. Each role carries exclusive privileges; there is no room for thinking that one sex is superior to the other.
MARRIAGE IS A GIFT FROM GOD.
God gave marriage as a gift to Adam and Eve. They were created perfect for each other. Marriage was not just for convenience, nor was it brought about by any culture.
MARRIAGE WAS DESIGNED BY GOD.
The marriage relationship that God designed has three basic aspects:
(1) the man leaves his parents and, in a public act, promises himself to his wife
(2) the man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other’s welfare and by loving the mate above all others
(3) the two become one flesh in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union that is reserved for marriage. Strong marriages include all three of these aspects.
MARRIAGE IS INTENDED TO BE A RELATIONSHIP OF GROWING OPENNESS.
Have you ever noticed how little children can run naked through a room full of strangers without embarrassment? They are not aware of their nakedness, just as Adam and Eve were not embarrassed in their innocence. But after Adam and Eve sinned, shame and awkwardness followed, creating barriers between themselves and God. We often experience these same barriers in marriage. Ideally a husband and wife have no barriers, feeling no embarrassment in exposing themselves to each other or to God. But, like Adam and Eve (3:7), we put on fig leaves (barriers) because we have areas we don’t want our spouse, or God, to know about. Then we hide, just as Adam and Eve hid from God. In marriage, lack of spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy usually precedes a breakdown of physical intimacy. In the same way, when we fail to expose our secret thoughts to God, we break our lines of communication with him.
BIBLE READING: Ephesians 5:21-33
KEY BIBLE VERSE: This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:32-33)
MARRIAGE REQUIRES SUBMISSION BY BOTH PARTNERS.
Submitting to another person is a concept that is often misunderstood. It does not mean becoming a doormat. Christ-at whose name “every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth” (Philippians 2:10)-submitted his will to the Father, and we honour Christ by following his example. When we submit to God, we become more willing to obey his command to submit to others, that is, to subordinate our rights to theirs. In a marriage relationship, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband’s leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife. Submission is rarely a problem in homes where both partners have a strong relationship with Christ and where each is concerned for the happiness of the other.
MARRIAGE IS A CHALLENGE TO EACH PARTNER.
Why did Paul tell wives to submit and husbands to love? Perhaps Christian women, newly freed in Christ, found submission difficult; perhaps Christian men, used to the Roman custom of giving unlimited power to the head of the family, were not used to treating their wives with respect and love. Of course both husbands and wives should submit to each other (5:21), just as both should love each other.
MARRIAGE IS A RELATIONSHIP IN WHICH BOTH PARTNERS ARE SERVANTS.
In Paul’s day, women, children, and slaves were to submit to the head of the family-slaves would submit until they were freed, male children until they grew up, and women and girls their whole lives. Paul emphasized the equality of all believers in Christ (Galatians 3:28), but he did not suggest overthrowing Roman society to achieve it. Instead, he counselled all believers to submit to one another by choice-wives to husbands and also husbands to wives; slaves to masters and also masters to slaves; children to parents and also parents to children. This kind of mutual submission preserves order and harmony in the family while it increases love and respect among family members.
MARRIAGE IS A DIVERSITY OF ROLES WITHIN A PARTNERSHIP OF EQUALS.
Although some people have distorted Paul’s teaching on submission by giving unlimited authority to husbands, we cannot get around it-Paul told wives to submit to their husbands. The fact that a teaching is not popular is no reason to discard it. According to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership. But real spiritual leadership involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife. A wise and Christ-honouring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honouring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in marriage.
MARRIAGE IS HELPING EACH PARTNER GROW.
The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, and helping the other person become all he or she can be. The creation story tells of God’s plan that husband and wife should be one (Genesis 2:24), and Jesus also referred to this plan (Matthew 19:4-6).
WHAT SOLUTIONS DOES THE BIBLE OFFER FOR COMMON MARRIAGE PROBLEMS?
BIBLE READING: Ezra 9:1-15
KEY BIBLE VERSE: The men of Israel have married women from these people and have taken them as wives for their sons. So the holy race has become polluted by these mixed marriages. To make matters worse, the officials and leaders are some of the worst offenders. (Ezra 9:2)
MARRIAGE MUST BE A SPIRITUAL AS WELL AS EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL UNION.
Some Israelites had married pagan spouses and lost track of God’s purpose for them. The New Testament says that believers should not marry unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). Such marriages cannot have unity in the most important issue in life-commitment and obedience to God. Because marriage involves two people becoming one, faith may become an issue, and one spouse may have to compromise beliefs for the sake of unity. Many people discount this problem only to regret it later. Don’t allow emotion or passion to blind you to the ultimate importance of marrying someone with whom you can be united spiritually.
BIBLE READING: Matthew 5:31-32
KEY BIBLE VERSE: You have heard that the law of Moses says, “A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a letter of divorce.” But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:31-32)
LOOK FOR WAYS TO RESTORE A MARRIAGE RATHER THAN LEAVE IT.
Jesus said that divorce is not permissible except for unfaithfulness. This does not mean that divorce should automatically occur when a spouse commits adultery. The word translated “unfaithful” implies a sexually immoral lifestyle, not a confessed and repented act of adultery. Those who discover that their partner has been unfaithful should first make every effort to forgive, reconcile, and restore their relationship. We are always to look for reasons to restore the marriage relationship rather than for excuses to leave it.
BIBLE READING: 1 Corinthians 7:1-40
KEY BIBLE VERSE: Now about the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:1-2)
SEX WITHIN MARRIAGE PROVIDES STRENGTH AGAINST TEMPTATION.
Sexual temptations are difficult to withstand because they appeal to the normal and natural desires that God has given us. Marriage provides God’s way to satisfy these natural sexual desires and to strengthen the partners against temptation. Married couples have the responsibility to care for each other; therefore, husbands and wives should not withhold themselves sexually from one another but should fulfill each other’s needs and desires.
Spiritually, our bodies belong to God when we become Christians because Jesus Christ bought us by paying the price to release us from sin (see 6:19-20). Physically, our bodies belong to our spouses because God designed marriage so that, through the union of husband and wife, the two become one (Genesis 2:24). Paul stressed complete equality in sexual relationships. Neither male nor female should seek dominance or autonomy.
A CHRISTIAN SHOULD BE A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON AN UNBELIEVING SPOUSE.
Because of their desire to serve Christ, some people in the Corinthian church thought they ought to divorce their pagan spouses and marry Christians. But Paul affirmed the marriage commitment. God’s ideal is for marriages to stay together-even when one spouse is not a believer. The Christian spouse should try to win the other to Christ. It would be easy to rationalize leaving; however, Paul makes a strong case for staying with the unbelieving spouse and being a positive influence on the marriage. Paul, like Jesus, believed that marriage is permanent (see Mark 10:1-9).