Fiji's Family Network
Unfortunate is the man or woman who is all alone in life. My heart goes out to you.
upto you if you wanna read .....
Though opposites attract, they usually make lousy marriages. A man who likes a clean house will continually fight with a wife who is a slob (and vise versa). When dating, people often feel more comfortable with people who AREN'T like them. Unfortunately, this often leads to troublesome marriages. Then again, love is blind...you can't decide when and where to fall in love. Life must take it's course. If you are married to someone who is very different from you, then make the best of it!!!!
So many married people have the attitude that they'll only do their part if the spouse does theirs as well, that kind of attitude just won't work in the real world...not if you want to stay married....A marriage is supposed to based upon UNCONDITIONAL LOVE where each person gives 100% regardless of how much effort the spouse puts in. Is that fair? Of course not, but true love isn't based upon fairness !!!
Was it fair that Jesus Christ should paid a debt he did not owe because we owed a debt we could not pay? No, but He did it anyway because He loves us (Romans 5:8). Love oftentimes is not fair.
FYI ..I aint Married still modrii thou but I know how it goes because my own mama is gonna file for divorce and I wouldnt want anyone doing the worst mistake she/he is about to do ! SO THINK ! ~adios~
100% from both - otherwise don't bother because it is not fair on the other person who will be part of the marriage!!!!!
lonely.......i suppose not...if you have great friends...you would not feel lonely neither would you be really missing the sex part of it unless you wish to get laid....but if in a marriage one partner is giving 100% and the other not, it upsets the balance because a lot of things can happen out of that imbalance...selfishness is one of them...i am truly sorry to hear about your mom's case...but if she is going to live a happier life being alone - I say go for it!!
100/100 would be the perfect score and that's the marital vow they made to each other one sweet day - to always strive for 100%. But then... they're only human and fall short of God's glory way too many times i.e. there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. So if they consciously allow their efforts to be reduced say from 100/100 to 50/90 or 30/60 or 80/20 (50/50 to me sounds like an agreement, like a flatmate arrangement due to children plus shared finances, investments etc etc, or in some cases, one of them cannot afford to move out) then I think getting a divorce (if they refuse to reconcile their differences) becomes a REAL, PRACTICAL and VALID STEP they should take.
Otherwise, in the absence of any genuine effort to salvage their strained marriage, things will deteriorate and the relationship becomes toxic as each starts to build resentment against the other, which is likely to manifest in cruel words and deeds (God knows how we are ALL capable of CRUELTY but for His Grace in us).
Unconditional love? Not unless you want to end up a 'doormat', housemaid, servant, slave or martyr.
God is the only being I reserve unconditional love for - for love comes from Him and is Him. Man is not God but is created in His image and have to constantly seek Him to be like Him.
So I think "fairness" does not feature here. I remember a former boss and colleague who had such a big heart and a small pocket (like a poor samaritan) who loved to say to me: "Don't even think about opening your mouth to complain (about something that is beyond his control) because LIFE ISN'T MEANT TO BE FAIR." So I keep my mouth zipped right there as I remember an old rule hung in the front of a shop down the street that read: Rule 1: The boss is always right. That must have been coined by a dictator. Anyhow, I shut my mouth dutifully and out of respect for my boss (since he has many more gray hairs on his head than I do) and start thinking about how to get around the problem so that my heart can be at peace in this unfair world. Great food for thought Divani.
On loneliness -I think that many people tend to think that "alone" means "lonely" when referring to intimate relationships. But that could not be further from the truth for a great many people in this world (me included). I love being alone and I also love being with people who love to talk since that's what I also love to do. One of my pet hates is being in a crowded room, socialising away and then I spot people with heads down and eyes glued to their iphones/ipads or talking away on their cellphones. Another pet hate is when I'm visiting someone's house for a house party and there's a lizard or two lounging on the settee watching TV as if there's no interesting humans around to talk to.
Take care Divani and enjoy being a modrii while you're still one. There's an amazing world out there with so many different peoples and interesting places waiting to be experienced, so I think one could never be alone, unless one chooses to. GB. :)
@ Meo - Your author, the fundamentalist “David J. Stewart”, is a convicted sex offender??
Marriage in accordance with Roman Catholic teaching is much, much, more deeper than that one selective article that you've picked out for your benefit Meo. Of course, had you applied that to your own marriage, you wouldn't be spending 24/7 in cyberspace making a bloody nuisance of yourself, would you? Now, PO.
Sega ni dua e via mai vakaluisia nona gauna me veivosaki se wilika se kila na vakamacala cava o kauta mai, semi ocei o iko meo.
Vosa tiko ga yani ena vukumu, vata kei watimu vata kei ira na luvemu @ semi ocei o iko meo. Kua ni o via mai siova tale e dua.
@'semi ocei o iko meo' mo na qai wilika toka me : "se o cei beka e mai kilai iko!". Sa matata beka ya? Now, PO.
O sa lesu mai Valevatu na la'i Kovisio me oti na nomuni cudru waqawaqa?...kua ni lako!.
Vosataka ga na watimu kei ira na luvemu @ semi se-o-cei-mai-kilai-iko meo!
guys...isa...... kerekere please let's discuss the topic............
Vinaka Ms Ray, my thoughts exactly.